Saturday, 10 July 2010

  • Bucket List

    Throw a glow-in-the-dark paint party after sunset near the beach or a lake with ma friends.
    Buy a Ferrari and go racing in the desert.
    Fry a cell phone and watch it spark all over the place.
    Reinterpret the movie Tokyo Drift.
    Go cliff-diving.
    Go extreme motorcycling off of ramps in the desert.
    Have a war with fireworks.
    Dive into the Belagio fountains in Vegas and get lifted up in the air by the force of the rushing water before getting arrested.
    Create domino-effect shelves in the bicycle rack section of Wal-Mart.
    Punch someone in the face and laugh.
    Be in two places at once.
    Become a ninja.
    Get suspended for school vandalizing reasons.
    Bungee jump.
    Throw a ham at one of the workers of a grocery store.
    Swim with the sharks and not get killed until I kick the bucket.

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

  • My So-Called Autistic Acquaintance

    In the fifth grade a couple years ago there was a special kid in my class by the name of Christopher. But please do not call him that; he objects his middle name. Due to that he wishes you to call him Amard. Everything is very black and white to him; so when the substitutes make mistakes on his name like Armod of Anerd and the bullying students crack up about it, it very much annoys him, getting enraged and breaking down in the class most of the time. That's the only thing he was famous for; his "pathetic entertainment", students would call it, and his passion for cars. He could name any type of car that you would point out to him and he would shout it with pride. My classmates took on this fact into a game, like calling out so many cars that "Anerd" would randomly break down from it. So much students simply did not like him. When he tried to enjoy himself and give out that cackling laugh, everyone else would frown and point to him, telling him that his crack-ups made no sense. When he jumped inside the swinging jump rope the kids would stop and ask him to leave.
    Amard could not speak properly. He had this type of talk that could even get other students into a jumbling mess. We had to write a two page story on basically anything and he had written about cars. What he did was brave. The special fifth grader went up in front of the class and read his story to everyone, pressing his oval glasses to his nose and naming a bunch of cars speeding down tracks and what not. In my humble opinion, it was a very well put story. But just because of the way he talks and the theme of his story... it made the students laugh at him even more. He was called a loser of cars and it would just make him fall to pieces every time.
    He does not go to my middle school. About a couple months ago, I saw one of my elementary school friends in the library that goes to Amard's school. We recalled all those moments; involving Amard or not. Then ever so slightly I say the words, "How is Amard doing?" She actions this really long, meaningful sigh and chokes out, "Christopher had committed suicide. He stabbed himself in the chest a couple months ago because of the stuff life has put him through."

Monday, 28 June 2010

  • Hear Me Out, Americans and Foreigners!

    America is a very distinct country. We're the only people who say soccer instead of football, we don't use the metric system, and (triple whammy) we're the fattest nation in the world. I'm from America and all, but my parents are Filipino, so they teach me some stuff differently, like:
    1)Most meals are eaten. With rice.
    2)Even American food can be eaten. With rice.
    3)More Americans visit foreign restaurants than that of the people who share the same culture of the food.
    My Family and Consumer Science teacher also teaches me stuff about America. She's from like, New Zealand or whatever, eating Mediterannean food. And she keeps making fun of Americans saying stuff like we teach the Japanese to eat from fast food. She can't be saying stuff like that, though, 'cause she taught us how to make oatmeal cookies from fake oats and animal fats.
    And, as a Filipina, I was watching Lose It With Jillian Micheals, and she was helping this one family of about fivewith their eating pattern. There were something like eight trays of mac and cheese, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and some other stuff, so Jillian whopped that whole entire thing in the tray. Sad thing is, we share that amount amongst our extended family of about twenty when there are special occasions.

Tuesday, 06 April 2010

  • Pickup Lines That Are Doomed to FAIL

    Yes, these are supposed to be funny and stupid at the same time.
    "I have skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?"
    "Can I read your shirt in braille?"
    "Hey, baby. I'm like a Rubix cube. The more you play with me the harder I get."
    "What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper."
    "Can I even get a fake number?"
    "I lost my teddy-bear. Can you sleep with me?"
    "Let's play Pearl Harbor. I lay down and you blow me to heaven."
    "If I told you you had a nice body, would you lay it against me?"
    "God was showing off when he made you."
    "Whoa, slow down sugar,'cause I'm diabetic."
    "You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'M cute."
    "Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is kickin'."
    "Let's hide behind a rock and get a little bolder."
    "I knew you looked familiar! You look like my next girlfriend!"
    "I memorized every phone number in the phone book, but managed to lose yours. I'm gonna need that."
    Give a girl a


the_jimrimbi_kimchi_monkey

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